{"id":7505,"date":"2026-10-14T00:56:24","date_gmt":"2026-10-14T00:56:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/karlamozzo.com\/?p=7505"},"modified":"2026-10-14T00:58:05","modified_gmt":"2026-10-14T00:58:05","slug":"pat-y-la-perfeccion-dolorosa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/karlamozzo.com\/en\/pat-y-la-perfeccion-dolorosa\/","title":{"rendered":"Pat and the painful perfection"},"content":{"rendered":"
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When one has grown up in a system of separation, trying to prove that we are valuable is an activity that exhausts the body, the mind, and the spirit. Healing our inner child is giving ourselves the opportunity to be ourselves without proving anything to anyone.<\/pre>
\u2014Litha, dear, thank you for staying with the children this weekend. We'll be back Sunday night to take them to school on Monday. Pat has to rehearse what he's going to say on Monday at the ceremony. It's very important that he learns it by heart. He has to do it well!\u2014says a hurried voice as Litha smiles and waves goodbye, saying. 
<\/span>\u2014Don't worry, we'll see each other on Sunday, good luck!<\/span><\/p>
Noel and Pat run into the house, happy to spend the weekend with Grandma Litha.<\/span><\/p>
\u2014Let's go play in the yard \u2014says Noel.<\/span><\/p>
\"\"But Pat tells him no, that he has to learn by heart what he has to say at the ceremony. If he says something wrong, they will surely make fun of him or scold him for ruining everyone's work. They are going to tell him that what he says is wrong, that he has to say what others say and not invent.<\/span><\/p>
Litha hears that, but doesn't intervene. She lets the children keep talking as they walk to the garden. She offers to play with Noel while Pat takes the paper with the text and walks towards the bench under the tree. Litha watches him out of the corner of her eye while playing with Noel; she sees how he walks around the tree and repeats what's on the paper over and over until he can say it without looking at it.<\/span><\/p>
It's already getting dark and they go in to have dinner and talk about what moves their hearts.
<\/span>\u2014I finally learned the text \u2014says Pat.
<\/span>\u2014Do you want to tell it to us?
<\/span>Pat repeats from memory, hesitates at several points and falters at others, but manages to finish the text. Noel and Litha applaud, but Pat doesn't look calm; on the contrary, it's clear that something doesn't give him peace.<\/span><\/p>
\"\"It's bedtime and Litha tells them a story. Noel falls asleep immediately, but Pat doesn't.
<\/span>\u2014Tell me, Pat, what's on your mind and in your heart?
<\/span>\u2014I don't know, Litha. I'm afraid I'll forget it.
<\/span>\u2014You're referring to the text, right?
<\/span>\u2014Yes, it's just that it's very important that I memorize everything and say it perfectly.
<\/span>\u2014What happens if you don't do it perfectly, my love?
<\/span>\u2014Oh no, I'll die, Litha, I'll die.
<\/span>\u2014From shame? From fear?
<\/span>\u2014From everything, Litha! Imagine I say it wrong and the teacher gets disappointed and they tell me I don't deserve to be in 2nd grade, or she scolds me in front of everyone, says I'm a bad student and tells my mom, and she gets sad because I embarrassed her as a mom. Or what if the others no longer want to team up with me because I'm a donkey, or if my dad gets angry about the effort they make and I don't deserve them to make the effort\u2026
<\/span>\u2014Wow, Pat, I didn't know all these things were at stake\u2026 How about you let me find a magical way for you to learn it tonight and I'll teach it to you tomorrow? That way, for today, I'll take care of the task and you rest.
<\/span>\u2014Yes, thank you very much, Litha. That would help me a lot, a lot.
<\/span>Now the tiredness was visible on his face; letting go of this burden had made sleep suddenly overcome him.<\/span><\/p>
Litha left the room, made herself some tea and took out a couple of cards from the fairy oracle. She observed them, smiled, and went to sleep.<\/span><\/p>
The next morning, Pat jumped onto Litha's bed.
<\/span>\u2014Did you see, Litha, the cards on the table? They're for me, aren't they for me, right?
<\/span>Noel was in the doorway watching Pat hug Litha, who was just waking up.
<\/span>\"\"\u2014Yes, my love, they are for you. Let's have some breakfast while we talk about them\u2026
<\/span>\u2014The first card has this heavy stone\u2026 that's how the text I have to learn is, it's horrible and heavy \u2014says Pat.
<\/span>\u2014The second one is children and fairies playing, does it mean that today we are all going to play? \u2014asks Noel.
<\/span>\u2014Exactly! The key to everything is playing, as always. We're going to make a game that helps you learn the text with fun, and we're going to change the convoluted words for simpler words, because the point is for you to give a message that everyone understands. And it's going to be so much fun that you'll be able to remember both texts: the one with the bombastic words and the one with the simple words, and that way we'll have the rainbow that we see in the last card.
<\/span>\"\"\u2014Yes, let's play! \u2014say Noel and Pat.<\/span><\/p>
While they were having breakfast, Litha, Pat, and Noel invented a rally game where each clue linked a part of the text. When all the clues were ready, they went to the common room to ask if anyone wanted to play the rally. They no sooner said it than they had several participants. They spent the morning playing, having fun, and in the end, when it was lunchtime, not only Pat knew the text: the rest of the community also knew it.<\/span><\/p>
At the end of the meal, Litha approached Pat and asked her if they could go for a walk together to the stream.<\/span><\/p>
\"\"\u2014What did you think of the magic for remembering the text, Pat?
<\/span>\u2014It was fantastic, Litha, it was a lot of fun.
<\/span>\u2014I kept thinking about what you said last night about the great impact it has for you to do something where so many expectations are placed: the teacher, your mom, your classmates, your dad. Do you think that only if you do it \u201cwell\u201d do you deserve to be loved?
<\/span>Pat hesitated, she was going to answer yes, but she stopped and breathed\u2026 she took a while to answer, as if processing the question, after a couple of breaths, from the bottom of her heart came the answer:
<\/span>\u2014No, I believe that I deserve to be loved regardless of whether I do it well or badly. But when I do it well, they feel proud and happy.
<\/span>\u2014Hm\u2026 it's as if the source of pride and happiness is in the recognition of talent\u2026 And what if your talent had nothing to do with saying the right words, but with connecting with what gives you life within you?
<\/span>\u2014How? \u2014asks Pat, confused.
<\/span>\u2014What if you had more recognition for finding fun and loving ways to share with others, just like we did with the rally? I believe that when you stand in front of others and bring from your heart what you truly are, you give from love and receive from that same place.
<\/span>\u2014Oh, yes, that's the best, Litha. But in school, you can't; there are rules there and you can't play. It's more about obeying and memorizing and being afraid\u2026
<\/span>\u2014Ugh, how true and how ugly, Pat\u2026<\/span><\/p>
They had arrived at the stream and Litha takes a leaf from her sweater pocket.<\/span><\/p>
\"\"\u2014Let's do something\u2026 \u2014Litha continued as she sat by the stream and began to make a little boat with the leaf\u2014. We are going to put everything that weighs us down into this little boat, so that the stream can carry it to wherever it needs to go, far from our body\u2026 I am going to say that, from now on, I am going to release the search for perfection that they taught me in school. It helped me survive in that environment that was so hostile, but here in the community I can be myself, with my divine light and my loving voice, because my presence alone already generates a change in others. That is, yes, I am going to prepare the things that give me calm, but not for it to be perfect, but so that the universe brings to me what needs to be said and carries it to those who need to hear. I give myself the blessing of being a divine presence of change, empathy, and love\u2026 the rest is in the hands of the universe. Do you want to put something in the boat?<\/span><\/p>
\"\"\u2014I put the fear of making a mistake in the ceremony and I give myself the blessing of having fun doing things like the rally, because in the community I can be myself, and my family loves me, and everything will be fine because we always find magical ways to achieve it, right, Litha?
<\/span>\u2014That's right\u2026 \u2014Litha replies, and as she releases the boat, she says\u2014: It is done. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
<\/span>Pat and Litha remain silent for a few minutes watching the boat as the stream carries it away.
<\/span>\u2014Where do you think <\/span>it will go? \u2014asks Pat.
<\/span>\u2014I imagine that to where that energy can be composted, that nourishes the earth.<\/span><\/p>
\"\"Pat and Litha look at each other, smile and start walking back to the common room, holding hands.<\/span><\/p>
There is nothing more healing than loving company.<\/p>
What things would you do if you didn't carry the weight of proving your worth?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The pressure for perfection sometimes speaks of the need for acceptance, love, and belonging. When one has a safe space, letting go is an act of liberation and self-love.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":7507,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7505","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t